When You Talk Too Much

This has nothing to do with the main theme of this blog by the way.

A lot of times I feel like I’ve become the boy who cried wolf. Accidentally of course.

I get excited about a lot of things. Like, very little minuscule things. I’m also obsessed with planning things. That’s probably from my OCD (and no, I’m not using that lightly, you can ask the specialists).

So I talk a lot. But I’m also very shy. So I talk, a lot, to the same groups of people.

Sure part of me sees how this is annoying, but I really can’t help it. Do I feel guilty for asking when the campus clothing drive is being held daily? Yes, but I feel even worse not knowing. So I talk and I ask and I plan and I comment on everything; because I’m excited and I’m planning and I have an opinion that you just need to hear.

But a lot of times I get shot down. And it sucks.

My boyfriend showed me a video today that I’ve attempted to show him multiple times. I pointed it out, he came up with an excuse, but 90% of the time when I show him things it gets shrugged off. And sure a good deal of the cute cat videos or buffalo chicken dip recipes aren’t that important, but then he misses important things. Then he’s showing me a video I’ve seen and have been excited to show him.

And it’s not just my boyfriend. I’ll ask things multiple times in say a Facebook group, and after awhile posts go unread, I start apologizing. I pointed out to one girl that maybe if we had a community service schedule, I wouldn’t be frantically posting (because, well, that’s the only reason why I was). I was told that there was a schedule but she hadn’t posted it since no one had asked. I had only asked every day. Is my voice so unimportant that no one even cares to read or hear what I have to say?

I just constantly feel so annoying. I feel like my need to know what’s going on makes me seem like a nuisance. And I may be, I don’t know, that’s just how it feels. 

But I’m getting tired of it. There’s only so much blogs can do to help my need for talking, because you guys won’t tell me dates for events or the time of a class. Sure you may react to a video I post, but that’s about it.

If I stop talking will they realize? And if they do will they be upset, or excited that I finally shut up?

At least the Internet void has no choice but to let me speak.

x, Sarah